Archive for the 'Open letters' Category

An Open Letter to all those with double standards.

Dear Double Standarder (I know that’s not a real word, so shoot me!)

I feel that it is now my duty to point out to you that having double standards does nothing but make you look stupid and hypocritical.

If you feel that you are in a position where you can openly judge other people on their actions, then it may be an idea to check that you’re not doing the same thing yourself.

If you are going to pick other people up on their manners, then you may want to take the time to examine some of your own.  When you have just spent 10 minutes pontificating about the manners of others and then sit there talking with your mouth full and interrupting other people – well, it just makes you look a bit daft.

If you are going to criticise the way other people may approach a situation and then go and do it the same way yourself, then you may need to acknowledge that you have double standards.  If you went to that person and explained that you had thought about it and now felt that you may have been wrong, then that would be fine, an explanation is all that is needed.

If you are going to spend the majority of your time bitching about someone behind their back and yet are as nice as pie to their face, then that makes you look two faced.  Yes, we all bitch, that’s human nature and none of us are saints, but at least have the courtesy to go and talk to them about the problem.

When you criticise others’ choice of lifestyle and the way they choose to interact with other people, then go and do the same thing yourself, people lose respect for you and your opinion.

We all have double standards about some things, I know I have, but at least I recognise mine and try to do something about it.  For you to have them and not acknowledge them makes your lack of insight very apparent and makes it hard for others to like you, or at least to not get very annoyed with you.

I am not asking you to change, I have no right to do that, I am just asking you to think about this and how it appears to other people.

Yours

Alcoment

I’m sorry for the rant everyone and I know this is unlikely to make much sense to anyone, but, god, that feels better!!

An open letter to all diet whores and bores

Dear Diet Whore or Bore (delete as appropriate)

I am writing to you as I feel that there are some things I need to point out. This is for your own good; it will mean that I do not have to beat you around the head with your latest ‘miracle’ and force feed you cream cakes.

The first thing I need to make you aware of is that buying the book and looking at the pretty pictures is NOT enough! If you are going to follow this diet then I’m afraid it means that you have to actually cook the suggested meals and then eat them. By that, I mean eat the recommended portion and not the whole thing plus the contents of your freezer!

I also need to make you aware that following a diet for one week will not have an effect. Have some willpower and at least give it a go if you want to. If you give up, please do not issue us with a list of excuses. Do not tell me that it didn’t fit into your lifestyle but the new one will – I don’t believe you.

Also, please realise that I do not care which one you are flirting with this week. I do not need to know that you are following the Weight Watchers plan and exactly how many points your meal has consisted of. When I wake up in the night reciting point values for everything in my fridge (salad is 0 points, but an egg has 2!) then things have gone too far! When you are on the Atkins, I do not need to know where the dreaded ‘hidden carbs’ are hiding, it does not interest me at all.

When you are following Gillian Whats-her-face I do not need to be made aware of the fact that eating fruit and seeds has done wonders for your bowels, or that you can do amazing things with tofu. I have no interest in which seeds you are going to buy wholesale, as I know that in a couple of weeks you will have moved on to something else.

I do not wish to be informed about what I should swap for what. I do not care if what I am eating contains 500 calories, whereas if I made a slight adjustment I could save…Ooo, all of about 5 calories. I have no desire to discuss whether counting calories, fat or carbs is better or how far I would have to walk to burn off the doughnut I have just eaten. I enjoyed the doughnut, why would you want to ruin it for me?

I hope you understand the intentions behind this letter. I do not mean to cause you pain (yet!) but I am worried that, in time, I will be unable to stop myself. For your own sake I am going to issue you with the following advice…

Put the diet book down and eat some bloody chocolate!

Yours

Alcoment