Infidelity and tights.

Apologies for the absence everyone, sometimes life just gets in the way.  I also have to confess that I have been rather unfaithful.  I’ve ended up on Facebook (Thanks Student Nutty Nurse!) and seem to be temporarily addicted to wasting time taking stupid quizzes!  I shall try my best to be a better blogger!

Last week was the beginning of the Christmas party merry-go-round, with both work parties (the client meal and the staff party) happening within a couple of days of each other.  True to form, I was not able to be in public without making an idiot of myself at least once.

The client meal was going well, people were eating and chatting, everyone was happy.  Little did I know that I was about to provide the entertainment!

I’d had quite a bad cold and, though I was better, had been left with blocked ears.  The sensation was driving me mad and I decided to try unblocking them again.  You know the one, hold your nose and blow as hard as you can.

I sat there, blowing, when all of a sudden something unblocked.  But not my ears.  Yep, I had just sat there and done an incredibly loud fart!  My natural response was to collapse in hysterical laughter, surrounded by my clients and colleagues just looking on with bemusement.

The staff Christmas meal was fun and it was my skirt’s first outing – it seemed to go down well.  I’d forgotten what a problem tights could be though.

As I haven’t worn a skirt in years, obviously I haven’t worn tights either.  Getting them on in the first place was interesting and only achieved with a considerable amount of swearing and threatening them with the bin.  Having got them on, I was reluctant to repeat the experience and decided to only go to the loo when it became a desperate situation.

I managed a few hours, but obviously nature (and a considerable amount of alcohol) eventually called.  By this time, we had done the restaurant and the pub and were all back at the bosses house.

Having dealt with the matter in hand, it was time to do battle again with the tights.  They had been difficult in the first place but add in a few vodka and cokes and then it becomes more like Mission Impossible. 

All was going relatively well until, on the final tug, I lost my balance and slowly toppled sideways.  Ending up sitting on their bathroom floor, again laughing hysterically, I could only be glad that no one had been around to witness it.  I think it’s back to stockings for me!

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6 Responses to “Infidelity and tights.”


  1. 1 Stealth December 19, 2007 at 3:01 am

    Hide your shame, FACEBOOK WHORE! I was wondering why things had changed between us. I should’ve known you weren’t really just busy planning the office party. It’s going to take me some time to get over this…

  2. 2 Stealth December 19, 2007 at 4:35 pm

    P.S.- you’ve been tagged, FACEBOOK tramp!

  3. 3 Rosie December 20, 2007 at 1:46 am

    I could totally picture the tights thing…even though we’ve never met. Probably because I’ve never met a pair of tights I like. 🙂

  4. 4 alcoment December 21, 2007 at 8:26 pm

    Stealth – Public apologu in the new post. Forgive me? I accept my punishment of the tag and have learnt my lesson…

    Rosie – I hate tights. I swear it was the tights and not the alcohol that made me fall over!

  5. 5 alcoment December 21, 2007 at 8:29 pm

    Whoops, too much Christmas Spirit I think! Obviously, I meant apology not apologu. I don’t know what an apologu is…

  6. 6 Stealth December 24, 2007 at 1:25 am

    I can’t stay mad at you. You’re forgiven.

    xoxo


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